Risk and the pursuit of passionby Danielle DeBray on 03/10/14
I continue to see the struggle people have with how to create passion. It's a dilemma to be sure. In order to experience passion, one must risk...something. What is risked depends upon what passion one is trying to achieve. Another component complicating everything is that in order to have passion, we must strive for what we are trying to achieve which in our culture is very risky. Our culture celebrates the hero, but the hero's journey is a solitary one. Someone becomes a hero because, in that critical time in which a decision needs to be made it is selfless; what is tested is his/her own inner-metal. So, if we are passionate in a way that is currently socially unacceptable, we risk offending by being "too much" or "too out-there" or "too unconventional" or just plain 'too...". And yet, to do nothing is boring.
I continue to see people who have not succeeded in obtaining their passion fall into the failure of boredom. There is so much to do and achieve in this world that the retreat from life into the safety of boredom can be seen as the failure to launch into one's passion.
The struggle for passion I witnessed the other night as people leaned into learning how to be emotionally intimate was just that, the failure to launch, but understandably to me and probably incredibly to my readers, most were not even aware that they had failed. They just thought they were bored. Often times, we don't go after our dreams, not because we are dying to chalk up yet another failure in our life, but because our original blueprint for life, which some refer to as our family of origin issue, casuses a hiccup in our ability to make what we want happen.
If one is not aware of the programming stopping one from acting outside of their own norms, one is forever doomed to walk within their own box of comfort. A life is lived knowing what one can expert of one's self and thus, one can be fairly certain of the ensuing reaction from others.
The free-fall experience of changing behavior or expectations can be a heady rush of anticipation and/or anxiety. Our emotional body is so geared to avoid pain that we can be driven to actions that don't make sense when we are not imbued with the family of origin message that directs our actions without conscious thought.
I heard of a situation where the father from another country attempted to have his own daughter and grandchild killed so as not to stain his family with the taint of divorce that his daugher was threatening to bring. This father had received his approval for his action from his father, the woman's grandfather. This is an excellent example of the lethality of family of origin issues. So, if a father can be driven to murder his own daugher so as not to risk feelng that heady free-fall experience that might have occurred if he thought outside the box of his cultural norms, maybe then when I mention that a family-of-origin issues has been triggered, people will appropriately shake in their boots.
However, I realize this awareness is hard to absorb because it forces people to come face to face with the fact that we might not know everything about the favored topic of ourselves. Only a strong ego can handle knowing that not only doesn't it know, but it doesn't even know what it doesn't know. Fortunately, the drive for passion in our existence is like a monotonous distant drumbeat if it is not drowned out by addiction or mental illness. Eventually, we will buckle to its beat and seek out meaning that brings passion.
It is difficult to change the path of our personal star streaking across the night sky. However, if we don't reach for the stars, it is possibly because we have been trained to reach for worms in the dirt due to our family of origin issues. It might be a little while before we know to head in the right direction, but with the knowledge that changing our behavior is akin to changing the flight plan of a star, compassion will provide the fertile ground for patience and persistence to grow our own success. Good luck.